there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
