remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There r osticjed everywhere
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
