I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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