im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
