Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
