i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
