My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Found the puke drawer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
