he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
