he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I just put wine in my tea
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
