Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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