too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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