There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
