I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
