So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
