Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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