Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
