i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and she was petting her beer can
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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