oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
