We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
