nut hugger
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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