Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
