her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
