One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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