All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
