North Korea, Best Korea!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
