So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
