Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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