Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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