I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
