well I can't set my house on fire every night
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
