Me too!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
