If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
