Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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