I wanna passion pit in your ass
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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