Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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