last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
