I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
