she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
