uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
