You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you win again, gameday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
