is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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