so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
