Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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