I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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