super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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