new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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