Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
