Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
