barbara walters just said penis...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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