arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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